Daily News Roundup: Thursday Edition

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer break up, and Jen has already moved on with this dude. Wow. These people move faster than Kirstie Alley at an Old Country Buffet. [Lainey]

God bless America, indeed. [Ayyyy!]

Britney Spears claims she’s a cleaning fanatic. In response, her weave said, “That’s news to me.” [Gabby]

R.I.P. Jordan’s Gigantic Melons. [Seriously? OMG!]

Samantha Ronson talks about not talking about Lindsay. [Celebrity Smack]

In the ultra-lightweight division: It’s Shiloh v. Suri! [popbytes]

An unflattering bikini shot splashed in all the tabloids: It apparently does the body good, as Jennifer Love Hewitt drops 18 lbs. [POTP]

Paris Hilton sued for not promoting Pledge This! Yeah, THAT’s why it didn’t do well. [Gone Hollywood]

Jamie Lynn Spears‘ baby daddy cheating on her? She is a walking country song, that one. [Celebrity Dirt]

Sienna Miller’s mother defends Sienna’s relationship with Balthazar Getty, also thinks Lewinsky and Clinton’s relationship was “sweet.” [Geno's World]

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